South America Part 25 - Santiago on a Monday...

First of all - big props and shout out to Chilean ice cream (ie of the Streets / Nestle variety) and their bizzare names. Some of our favourites include "Sexy Bo", "Egocentrical" and my favourite - "Danky CRAACK". Every picture of a Danky CRAACK outside a store has a picture of a woman with a man holding up a sign saying "Sexy"... Most ice cream pictures looks like the woman is giving head to the ice cream. Also there was a photocopy place we had come across in Santiago called ¨Fotocopia J.A.M¨.

Anyhows - we had an "early" latino breakfast at the hostel at 9am and made tracks off to the nearby Virgen (aka Virgin aka giant statue of virgin) on a nearby hill. After wandering past the Santiago zoo (which LP describes as "uninspiring" aka code for avoid like the plague) - we discovered that the dirt/wood-chip track leading up to the Virgen was infested by rabid stray dogs (who always loved forming packs and following us). At one stage - we had three big dogs (and the dogs here are HUGE) chasing us (not to mention the panther like dog who was rustling in the bushes nearby). We were lucky in that we lost them all at a crossroad.

We had kept seeing lots of people walking up the hill - but not coming down. Ant was coming to the conclusion that the dogs must be eating most of the tourists on the hill. We dubbed this hill - Dog Hill.

After finally getting to the top - it had an apocoplotic zombie movie deserted feel about it. There were a couple of water features which were not switched on and hardly a sole in sight. Of course in true Chilean style - there was a gonderla and a Funcliuar railway up to the top - both were closed.

The Virgen sat on top of the hill (and we thought it was quite an achievement to make it considering we had not heard of any other hostel guests walking up the hill) and you would be able to get a great view of Santiago (if it was not for all the haze and smog from the pollution of the city). You could not even make out the nearby Andes (which are very cool - snow capped mountains right next to Santiago... even if you are really hot in town with t-shirts and shorts - you can still see the huge f/// off mountains with snow on top). The Virgen was situated nearby an open air catherdral - which had the feel of the ¨hour of power¨tv show - just completely deserted. I had Ant take a few pictures of me posing ¨like the virgen¨ and me touching it ¨for the very first time...¨

After the Virgen - we decided to take a different path down the hill (aka Parque Metropolitano). We ended up going down a south coast style hairpin road complete with big buses trying to run us down.

Upon reaching the bottom - we reached Providencia aka Santiago´s Beverly Hills aka Rich B#### suburb. There were even a few dogs hanging around (but didn´t look stray as they had water dishes). We even had salad sandwiches there for lunch (yes! something remotely healthy in Santiago despite the sandwich being full of cream cheese).

Wandering around the shops in Providencia - we noticed that if you come across, say one video game shop - there will be about 8 video games shops right next door. This rings true for just about everything (Chilean shops like to cluster amongst like shops).

Catching the Subway back into town (it really isn´t a subway - more like a train like bus with wheels which goes underground) - we decided to go up (what we call) Santiago Hill Light or Santiago Hill Diet (or Cerro Santa Lucia) - a mini hill in the middle of Central Santiago with a few spanish style castles and water features to boot. Ant loves to keep raising the fact that I almost got scammed once in Thailand. We got off a boat there and there was some local who was wanting to give us cheap tuktuk rides around town (obviously to some dodgy jem factory). But here - it was Ant´s turn to get almost scammed. Some guy was trying to give Ant a dodgy poem in exchange for $10000 pesos (around $30AUD)... I fled the scene immediately - but Ant was hanging around him whilst he told his sob story about unis here being mega expensive (although from some guests at the hostel that night who were studying said it was free here).

After Diet Hill, we walked down and checked out the Presidential Palace and heaps of government buildings. The Presidential Palace was sort of fenced off in a half arsed post 9-11 way - except you could still drive right in front of it... We even got ourselves a photo of the ex-Chilean communist leader statue outside the palace.

Not listening to LP´s advice on the local market - we decided to check it out. It made the Fyshwick Markets look like a tourist destination. Thinking that there would be market like things for sale - all there was were a few touty restaurants wanting gringos to eat there.

After that - we wandered around Central Santiago´s shopping area. We had a look at a couple of department stores including ¨Ripleys¨and ¨Hites¨. We think Hites was misspelt and should of had an ¨S¨in front of Hites. All the clothes were pretty dorky and expensive - it was evident that BA simply crapped all over Chile in terms of shopping. All throughout the shopping district - they were playing loud muzak (probably to keep the punks out of Central and nearby our hostel). I had must of heard Madonna´s ¨Holiday¨, ¨Like a Virgin¨and ¨Into the Groove¨(muzak versions) about 3 times each.

Running out of things to do (because it is a Monday and everything touristy is closed in Latin Amercia on a monday) - we headed back to the Hostel around 4ish... finished off our last bottle of red chilean wine and chatted with a few guests before heading off at 10pm for some dinner at a mildly fancy french restaurant nearby.

We had to get up real early the next morning (early gringo time and latino time of 5am) to head off to the airport for a 7ish flight to Rio. We were all ready to go for our alledgedly booked taxi at 5:45am but of course - it was never booked by the hostel staff... Luckily - one showed up about 5 minutes later.

When we arrived at the airport - we tried to check into what we thought was the business class line (only to get shouted at by the LAN staff at the economy check in). What we didn´t realise was that the Business class check in was at the other side of the airport (how logical)...

Going thru immigration - we decided that the only edible thing was ¨Dunkin Donuts¨ (when you are on holidays you get very desperate). We lined up at the front counter - but in true Chilean style - the guy grumbled at us ¨We are closed for 20 minutes¨- despite the fact that there were heaps of customers in there eating and that they had food there... They must of have been conducting some sort of Donut audit stocktake at the busiest time of the day...

Ant ended up going back there (10 minutes later) and ordered some healthy donuts for breakfast - there was some Americans there grumbling about the lack of variety of donuts.

Our flight to Rio (via Sao Paulo) was a bit hellish despite the fact that it was the first LAN flight with individual TVs and on demand movies. There was a fair share of screaming kids including a three year old who screamed (like a horror movie scream) when the flight landed into Sao Paulo... We had to let off quite a few passengers in Sao Paulo - and the LAN staff kept doing a head count of everyone (despite everyone not sitting down and wandering around). I was told to ¨unfasten my seatbelt¨ by a flight attendant (a first for me) . They kept making announcements about ¨everyone who is booked to Sao Paulo needs to get off the flight¨. 10 minutes later the ground staff hauled off a stowaway who tried to go all the way to Rio without the right ticket. 15 minutes of screaming babies later - the flight finally took off.

45 minutes of screaming babies later - the flight landed into Rio - the slummiest airport thus far on our trip. Think 1970s concrete nightmare which hasn´t been renovated ever. At the immigration area - it was even festier with a crazy clock (the ¨minute¨ part was constantly mental) and only one staff member to let people thru.

Customs was trying to outdo Immigration. They had the whole ¨push the button and see if you have something to declare or not¨ like Peru (just without any staff). We got our bags scanned and the woman (who could only say ¨laptop¨ in english) got us to open one of our bags (despite us not having a laptop). She seemed obsessed with a duty free bag which had cream in it (?)... After attempting to communicate with us - she gave up and let us thru. It has been funny - every south american country has had its quirks when it comes to stuff to declare - Peru it was Playstation games and Cassettes, Argentina it was mobile phones...

Adios for now...