Japan to Australia via Eastern Europe - Part 32 - Day 28 - Last King (I mean Day) in Scotland

We had a great night sleep again (shock). I decide to get a bit of trashy GMTV action in – where the latest piece of sensationalist news in the UK was about the garbage collectors only collecting every fortnight to make everyone more friendly to the environment or something...

We didn’t leave the guesthouse till after 10:30ish (even though we were checking out that day). We head out to the Royal Museum / National Museum of Scotland which was in two adjoining buildings – but a “combined” museum. The Royal Museum was a little bit like the Questicon in Canberra – a lot of mad kids running around and bashing buttons which makes robots move. I was running around like an idiot too. There was a racing car, some light boat thingy computer, a reaction timing machine (which made me feel a bit f###tarded) and Dolly the Sheep – in all of her taxidermy cloned glory. There was also a cool exhibit on design and technology through the twentieth century. It was sort of interesting that there was this whole “nanna” era of style with bad cheap and tacky china ornaments (you know – the one that your grandma would have all around her house).

We switch across to the Scottish Museum – which was in a way newer and funkier building. This museum was the bloody Disney Land of all things Scottish history. It included prehistory, early man, Vikings and Romans in Scotland, Medieval and the Renaissance, the Industrial Revolution, Scottish arts, Scottish innovators and whiskey (apparently a Scottish invention – yuk!). It was massive and spanning over 6 floors – although it was probably designed by a psychophrenic bi-polar monkey because it was incredibly hard to follow (in terms of what to look at)... but it was worthwhile. Where else do you get the chance to delve into Scottish history in such a big way (I don’t think they have a Scotland-Land at the gold coast...!).

We jump back across to the Royal Museum where we check out a dodgy old school stuffed animal exhibit – although there were signs everywhere saying that they were trying to update the museum to make it a bit more modern. There was a “modern” funky exhibit on communications which you could play a “mobile phone text dance off game” (as you do).

After finishing up at the museums – Ant decided to make a quick pitstop at the “Museum on the Mound” – a shameless little museum promoting the Royal Bank of Scotland (or RBOS for short) – the very same bank that owns our mortgage provider back in Australia... Ant felt like he was trying to get value for money out of the mortgage or something... There were about 85 guards protecting the crappy museum – which was just shameless self promotion with pretty much nothing of interest to anyone. Nuff said.

We went back to M&S for some more pre-packaged sandwiches. I check out H&V (what is with all these stores in the UK – M&S, H&V, H&M?!) where I spend some of my “can’t use it out of Scotland” Scottish Pounds to buy a few CDs. Just my luck – the woman at the counter didn’t scan one of the CDs so I got a freebie 5 pound CD... Yeah!

We go to another mall – where I buy another freakin CD (to waste my pounds) and Ant buys another t-shirt (yes Imelda Boutros Galli of T-shirts!).

We head back to the guesthouse, grab our bags and make the mile trek back into town to catch the 3 pound airport bus to (you guessed it!) the airport!

It was one of those double decker deals – and Ant (like the school kid he is) wanted to sit up on the top level (just so we couldn’t keep an eye on our bags). The buses in Edinburgh were slightly weird – they all had these “catch phrases” like “Number 47 – Service with a Sparkle!” and “Number 58 – Ace of Spades!” and “Number 43 – Through the Heart of the City”... weirdness.

Strangely on the airport bus – there were heaps of locals getting off at stops on the way. More weirdness...

We checked in at the airport – but weren’t checked in together (eg: seating with one another). The security at the airport was fairly full on – I got petted, wanded and a pants/shoes check special. A truly magical way to end a trip to Scotland. The lounge was a little strange – it wasn’t enclosed off from the rest of the airport (sort of like Dubrovnik airport) – so it had a bit of a grungy vibe to it. Ant got the lounge lady to fix up our seats whilst I was doing some mad searching for Singapore accommodation (we hadn’t booked yet!). And it was proving a little bit harder than first thoughts (the cheap places I had found back in Australia – were “pay by the hour” sort of places).

The flight to Heathrow was delayed by quite a bit. We had to sit on the tarmac for more than 10 mins at Edinburgh then another 10 at Heathrow. Although Ant was impressed that we had a meal on the flight – complete with prawns.

Heathrow is the absolute pits – with low grungy ceilings and crazys everywhere. We catch a bus to Terminal 4 where it seemed a tad more professional than the recent Sydney job.

When we arrive at the lounge – I blog for a bit but our priority was to book a place in Singapore. All of the hotels were proving to be a bit expensivo. I bite the bullet and book One Florenence Close – some newish looking hostel in the burbs of Singapore but near a MRT stop.

Our flight to Singapore was delayed – and the in-board TV systems weren’t working. Ant was having a bit of a bitch about having middle seats (we always get aisle seats). We both try and get a bit of sleep – but Ant sleeps for way longer than I do. I bought a copy of NME – which was fairly pretentious and cruddy (it made TV Week look klassy).

Japan to Australia via Eastern Europe and stuff - Part 31 - Day 27 – Scotland Sh!te Aye...

We had an excellent night sleep (for a change). I helped myself to some dodgy crappy breakfast TV – where GMTV were in apology mode for the mobile phone competition scam. Good old BBC was still putting the boot into GMTV because of it.

We had a pretty good “help yourself” continental breakfast at the guesthouse – where Ant got his fix of sugary breakfast cereals – but not to the same extent as our Kings Cross hotel.

Our goal for today was to visit the castle. Outside – it was a much warmer day (by warmer – I mean 12 degrees or something). There was no rain – but there was some glorious Scottish overcast weather.

Entry to the castle was almost as steep as the hill on which the castle was situated on – 11 pounds (which works out to be $23ish Australian pesos). Although we managed to hook onto the end of a free tour once we entered the main gate. The guy had a really thick Scottish accent – and in true Scottish style – he loved to bag out the Scots, Scottish culture and stuff all the time. No wonder there are so many junkies – they all have low self esteem or something.

The tour lasted for about 30 mins – and he went through all the previous wars that involved Scotland and the Castle. Their track record against England seemed pretty lousy – they kept picking all these fights with England – but time after time – they always lost. It usually ended with someone getting executed or decapitated or something.

We were shown the 1pm Clock Gun – a big f##k off cannon thing which acts as a “1 pm alarm” (funny that being called the 1pm Clock Gun). Sailors used to set their watches to it (depending on how far they were from the gun – as the speed of sound is slow or something... here endth the science lesson for today).

After the tour – we checked out the Scottish War Memorial – which just looked like a converted church in the middle of the castle. They had heaps of books on the dead there and because Scotland is home of people with red hair – I thought I might try and find some of Ant’s relatives there. But alas – I couldn’t find any Collis’s... So maybe he isn’t of Scottish background or something?

We check out a big hall (but with no indoor jousting) and some Scottish crown jewels (but once you’ve seen one crown jewels – you have pretty much seen them all).

There was this strange POW museum (as the Scots used to keep all these French POWs locked up in the Castle or something). The first half was strangely like the Pirates of the Caribbean Disney theme park ride complete with animatronics and stuff with bad acting.

We checked out the Scottish Military Museum – which was really really detailed... Perhaps a little too detailed for someone who isn’t a details man. I exited the museum early and plonked myself on a bench – where I was subjected to really loud and bad bagpipe music. Stuff Chinese Water Torture for a joke – try Scottish Bagpipe Torture instead... I had enough of the music and grabbed Ant’s Ipod Nano out of his bag and cranked it up enough to drown out the bagpipes and give me permanent hearing loss.

After Ant resurfaced out of the museum – we checked out the 1 O Clock Gun Museum – which seemed to be a creepy memorial to some old Scottish guy in a kilt who appeared to have recently died or something.

We headed to new old town to Marks & Spenser (or M&S not to be confused with S&M or CBT) for lunch. We had the whole pre-packaged sandwich thing for lunch which wasn’t too bad.

We checked out the National Gallery of Scotland (which was just across the road from M&S) – which was an “old school” gallery – complete with old school art (eg: another bloody Monet Haystack!) and old school guards – who forced me to carry my backpack around my hip so I wouldn’t bang into anything or something. The good thing about the museum was that everything (even the crap) was well explained with little text thingys.

I grab a quick coffee at the gallery cafe and we decide to take the free shuttle bus to one of the sister galleries (there is some Edinburgh gallery mafia thing happening here).

After a 10 minute ride we hop off the bus at the Burns Gallery – a contemporary art museum which had an interesting geometry exhibit and some nice Picasso and Miro as well. Everything (like the National Gallery) was well explained. On our way out of the gallery – Ant gets shanghaied by some nice survey woman. Some of the questions seemed a little funny to us (eg: would you be coming back here, how much Scottish pounds do you make, blah blah blah).

We do a dash over the ride to the Contemporary Gallery – which had a cool exhibit called “Off the Wall” (not affiliated with the Michael Jackson album in any way whatsoever). It was a cool collection of those art installations which take up a whole room (eg: a room full of balls, etc). The permanent collection wasn’t half bad either.

So after a day of history and culture – we decide to make our way back to town via foot. I was slowly coming to the conclusion that Edinburgh is way more scenic than London. Ant was mentioning that London was bombed the hell out of during WWII – and everything was rebuilt in that awful 1950s style feral architecture – which makes a lot of London look like Coronation Street. Edinburgh – on the other hand – was mostly unscathed during WWII – hence the old town and the new town survived – and looks gorgeous.

Ant and I bum around the shops for a while (what a surprise) and I shamelessly order a McDonald’s thick shake – which tasted weird. The woman who I ordered from thought I was speaking Russian or something... Aye!

In a bit of a Nazi death march walk – Ant forced us to walk for miles and miles (like the Proclaimers – weren’t they like Scottish or something!?) so we could visit some dumb Royal Yacht. Getting out of New Town and Old Town – Edinburgh is starting to feel a little bit more like Trainspotting – you know – a bit more economically depressed. There were heaps of businesses shut down with “For Lease” signs in the front window. Of note – Edinburgh is like a big “Uni” town for Scotland – the other big city – Glasgow – is more industrial and Ant thought it might have been hit harder when the manufacturing sector in the UK ass fell out.

We stumble across the “Ocean Harbour Mall” – which we dubbed “Edinburgh’s Brand Depot” better known as “Ghost Mall”. The Mall looked pretty much brand spanking new – although with no customers. It claimed to have stayed open until 8pm every day – but half of the shops were shut anyway.

We both checked out the Vue Cinemas upstairs. It was tight arse Tuesday – yay for four pound tickets ($10AUD equiv). Although Ant and I couldn’t agree on a movie we wanted to see. I don’t think Ant was interested in anything – but I wanted to go see Sunlight (some Danny Boyle (aka Trainspotting) flick which I didn’t have a good idea of what it would be about). After arguing, having Jerry Springer style public fights and all out hissy fits (on both our parts) – I finally got Ant to agree to see it.

The cinema itself was fairly impressive – with v. Comfy seats and stadium seating – which sort of put Hoyts to shame... The ads were pretty funny too – there was a strange Orange Phone ad with the guy from Reservoir Dogs (Mr Blonde – ear cutting guy) trying to commit heinous serial killer phone calls on an Orange Phone – only for the police to instantly track him down. The upcoming Grindhouse trailer looked sweet (amputee chick with shotgun for leg = cool). And in true British nana state censorship style – they displayed the “Certificate 15” for Sunshine – a real certificate with a signature from some bureaucrat before the film.

Sunshine was pretty good – although I was getting really concerned about the state of Ant’s mental wellbeing (because the movie was pretty intense and scary in parts – and Ant hates scary movies) – but we both enjoyed it so it was all worth the “Jerry Springer” scenes from a mall.

We head back to town (and it was pretty late for a day out eg: 9ish at night). We soon make the conclusion that even though Edinburgh’s population is only slightly over that of Canberra (about 400K) –there is way more street life – especially for a Monday night. People were jammed into pubs everywhere – could be something to do with it being a “uni” town...

We decided to go for the familiar and have dinner at the Regent pub again – I had a big plate of nachos and Ant had a Beef and Beer Stew – for about $10AUD each. Bit of a bargain – and the staff love our accents.