Gringo Tour 08/09 - Part 11

After the USS Midway - we trekked for one final time back to the Horton Plaza for some late lunch. The choices were pretty dire - and we both had some italian fast food which was a bit mediocre (in a fast food trough sort of way). We then headed back to the Airport, then walked over to the Sheraton, then back to the Airport (via the hotel shuttle)....

There has been heaps of news about the massive air delays/cancellations over Xmas in the States on CNN (either plane cancellations or plane running off the runway or plane on fire or Andersen Cooper with Kathy Griffin for NYE ads (which make me want to shoot myself)).... so I was a little worried about our flight being delayed. It wasn't too bad - it was only late by about 30 minutes which meant that we arrived at Las Vegas at about 10:30pm.

The Southwest flight was pretty good. It was a bit Virgin Blue-esque in terms of the friendly, jokey service - but instead of the drop dead gorgeous Virgin Blue people - it was more like the AA-esque old people.

When we stepped off the plane and out of the gate at Las Vegas airport - you are surrounded by slot machines. Ant and I exchanged glances and then began giggling like little Japanese school girls. And to top it off - people actually are playing the slot machines at the Airport (including the baggage carousels).

We had to wait for our bags for a bit at the carousel - but it wasn't too bad because you could check out all of the cheesy Las Vegas shows playing at all of the hotels. It sort of feels like every hotel in LV has a Cirque De Sol show on and that everyone has a French Canadian freeekish fetish going on. Although Ant and I aren't Cirque De Sol fans - so we wanted to give them all a miss. There were ads for "Fantasy - the hottest showgirl show in Vegas" playing at the Luxor (giant pyramid hotel in which we had booked) and "Chippendales Strippers" and "The Thunder from Downunder" strip show... Ant and I again started giggling like school girls.

If you didn't know - I have this incredibly unholy obsession with the movie "Showgirls" - the story of Nomi Malone who comes to Vegas with the dream of being a star... of a sleazy stripper show. It was made by the people who made Basic Instinct and they made it as a serious movie - but with lines like "She looks better than a 10 inch d##k and you know it!" and "Ohhh... Nomi - you are the only ones who could pop my t#ts right!" and sex scenes where she looks like she is getting attacked from the shark from Jaws (or as my Razzies book calls it - "When Flipper meets Stripper" - it is totally hilarious and one of my all time favourite... comedies. So I was in 7th Heaven finally being at Las Vegas (where the movie was set). I feel like a "Sound of Music Spin" happening again.

Anyhows - after a couple of sound of music (aka I'm happy) spins in the airport terminal - we headed to the $US6 shuttle. We had to wait for a bit in the shuttle (while the operator was madly waiting for more tourists to arrive) - but an American on the bus got medevil with him - so we left. There was this skeezy guy on the bus who kept asking Ant and I all of these skeezy questions - but I did my best impression of "I'm not listening and I can't hear you".

The Luxor Hotel (which is that giant pyramid/egyptian themed hotel located on the Strip) was just on the other side of the airport (! - seems to be a common theme on this holiday) and just past the "Hooters Hotel" (!) looked rather impressive at night - with a giant white beam of light sprouting from the top of the pyramid. We arrived at one of the tower entrances (there are a couple of towers - but we had booked a room in the pyramid itself) and we made our way to the hotel reception - which was more like a line at Disneyland (!). Ant waited in queue while I sat with the bags outside the "Fantasy" exhibit - which instructed guests that you could meet the Fantasy Girls every night and then went into really cheesy "It's my fantasy!!" 80s cock-rock (sung by a woman) music. Wasn't Fantasy the name of the show in Showgirls?? Or wait - it was "Goddess"....

Ant walked over to me and announced that they didn't have any king rooms in the pyramid (despite us booking one) so we have a room in the tower instead. We walked past the casino floor (full of slots... machines) and around a conference center (geez this place was big) and found the lifts (it felt like the ghetto part of the hotel). Our room was on the 3rd floor with a view of the carpark (! not happy jan) and we dumped our bags, I went to the loo and And did his nah-nah and we walked back to the lobby and demanded that they recheck us into a Pyramid room. They put us into a "twin" room in the Pyramid which wasn't a twin single - rather a twin double - which wasn't too much of a problem. We made the 10km hike back to the tower, collected our bags, walked over back to the Pyramid, Ant pushed over a family (maybe?!) and we caught the 1B lifts (there are mutiple lifts which go up at a 45 degree angle around the pyramid) and went to the 24th floor (which was a little better than the 3rd in the tower). The room was a slanted on the window (due to the pyramid shape) - and the room was a bit basic with a bit of egyptian decor (klass with a k) but it did the job. Ant was freaking out about the walkway from the lift to the room - there was a 24 floor drop from over the balcony and the balcony went to our hips... A bit vertigo-esque. All of the pyramid hotel rooms ran along the edge of the building - so each floor became smaller and smaller (although there were 100+ rooms on our floor). It was quite architecturally impressive if not tacky.

Because we were both excited to be here - we decided to head out to the strip and have a little look around.

The casino in the luxor is not overly big - it is in the middle of the ground floor and is mostly made up of slot machines (like most casinos here!). There was an "entertainment" area on the second floor where the Fantasy show and Carrottop (! - what a loser) was playing. There was also a couple of restaurants, nightclubs and a food court (with a Macca-Dees!) and at least 3 Starbucks. There was a mini pyramid inside the main pyramid - and a NY-esque style town (where the food court and the theatre was).

We headed along an indoor walkway (where I did another I'm happy Sound of Music twirl) to the adjoining/sister hotel - the Excalibur - a sort of Disneyland Castle on steroids and cheese with a "ye-olden English Knights" theme. The all you can eat buffet was called "Round Table" and everything else had cheesy Knights-esque names. There was even a wedding chapel called "Canterbury" something... It looked a bit more run down than the Luxor and seemed to be a bit more family orientated (amusement games downstairs and no night-clubs).

We headed outside from there to the Strip (where it was raining). The Strip is chock-full of Casinos and Hotels (nothing much else except the occasional dodgy looking Travellodge or Mc Donalds). Across the street from the Excalibur was "New York New York" - a hotel built with heaps of famous mini NY landmarks and buildings including the Brooklyn Bridge, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building (no Twin Towers... good taste) and a roller coaster which runs along the top. We had a quick walk through NY NY Casino (Lots of slot machines, a skeezy "Ugly Coyote" bar or two, crazy aqua massage thingys, more starbucks and a "strip mall" NY theme thingy).

We headed outside again (still raining) - where the famous MGM Grand was across the road. We stayed on the NY NY / Luxor side of the Strip for a bit - where there was the Monte Carlo casino (with some cheesy 60s looking Magician headlining the Monte Carlo or something.

Next door to the Monte Carlo was the mutha of all construction sites. It must have been about a km long and there looked like there would be about 6 skyscrapers as part of the new casino. As a foot note - I was reading Wikiepdia - and I think this was the site of the old "Stardust Casino" which the Showgirls show was set in (may it rest in peace... sob). It was imploded last year (2007) and is going to be the site of multiple casinos.

Because it was getting late - we decided to head back to the luxor. As we were a little bit hungry (had a somewhat crappy dinner at the San Diego Airport) - we had some... dare I say it... Golden Arches. I had a $1USD (plus taxes) Mc Chicken Hot & Spicy - and Ant had a small kiddie meal. I hate the States and the taxes situation - where it is kinda like Taxes Surprise everytime you buy something... Just include it as part of the stated price and be done with it dammmit!!! I also bought a bottle of water (which was kinda expensive but cheaper than the $3US asking price in the hotel's vending machines). Of note - this Golden Arches was open 24 hours, had breakfast till 11am (! thank gawd for some common sense) and didn't serve coke - rather pepsi products (probably the only Mc Donalds in the free world which does so). Ant thought it must have been something to do with getting a agreement with the hotel (which has Pepsi stuff everywhere).

As it was getting pretty late (and we had a late night the previous night in San Diego) - we decided to hit the sack... Until next time...