Japan to Australia via Eastern Europe and stuff - Part 29 - Day 25 – London

No surprises here – but I’m still having really bad night sleeps… Maybe it has something to do with my 2 cups of coffee and 3 bottles of diet coke a day? Anyway – I must have racked up about 4 hours sleep total.

On our way to the hotel breakfast – Ant and I break out in hysterics when the hotel lobby is playing the theme from ET. I start saying “…Ellliot! Phone home!” (Inappropriate hotel lobby music no. 1 – the Theme from ET).

We managed to score a table at breakfast (right before there was a huge crowd waiting for a free table). The breakfast was OK – but we weren’t really expecting one (although we’ve been told that breakfasts are usually expected at hotels here in the UK).

On the way back to the room – they were piping out the theme of Indiana Jones (Inappropriate hotel lobby music no. 2).

We wander outside (where it isn’t all that cold) and have a quick stroll to South Kensington to a hotel where Ant’s mate Andy is staying for the night. Ant and Andy were planning to meet up and have a night out at Soho (Ant’s been planning this for months or something) – whereas I was going to catch up with Jane and Lucy – a couple of childhood friends – Jane was living with her partner Nick for the time being in London as ex-pats.

This whole area feels a little more “posher” than edgy Kings Cross. There isn’t the “punks harassing pharmacists” thing which happens at Kings Cross.

Ant buys a little pocket map of London (not one of those big ones so you don’t look like a complete tourist). We head down to Knightsbridge where all of the big department stores are at (eg: Harrods) – although we come to the scary conclusion that all shops here don’t open till 12pm on Sunday. What is this – a third world country. This is worse than Perth is!!... wait it is about the same as Perth – but even 3rd world countries have better shopping hours than here at London.

To tide us over until the shops open – we check out Hyde Park – where it was overrun with bad rollerbladers and strange park seat attendants who charge you for using their seats or something. There was a pretty-esque lake that we sat down at – but the lake was definitely better seen from a distance than from up close.

We walk over to Hyde Park Corner – where the bloody London Marathon was in action (which would explain why all of the accommodation prices were expensivo this weekend). If Ant and I had known that the London Marathon was on this weekend – we would have probably gone to Edinburgh early – all of the crowds and road closures were getting a bit annoying. Although it was a bit bizarre – we were expecting some Ethiopian runners or something – but it must have been the kids marathon because everyone looked under 3 foot tall.

We had a quickish coffee at Pret a Manger – and catch up with the abortion that is “News of the World”. This newspaper makes “The Sun” look like the “The Age” or “The Sydney Morning Herald”. You know how the Sun has its “Page 3 girl” – well – T ‘n A is pretty much on every page of the News of the World. With classy stories like “Britain’s dirtiest cleaners”, “Lindsay Lohan’s snapped in Cocaine Binge”, “Bin Bugs cause Plague” and “Join Britain’s Paedophile Alert Scheme” – it’s klassy with a “k”. Britain’s dirtiest cleaners was particularly T&A-ie - MUCKY Mrs Mops are really cleaning up — stripping off to buff the worktops then getting dirty on the freshly-hoovered shag pile.

We walk over to Piccadilly Circus – where surprisingly stuff is still shut. It’s not that there are no customers wanting to shop before midday on a Sunday – most shops had a crowd peering in the front window… There was even one shop that was open at 11am – but it was only open as an “exhibition” and you could not buy anything until 12pm.

After everything being shut at Piccadilly Circus – we wander to nearby Trafalgar Square (god things are not very spread out in London!) – where we both umm and arr about going to the British National Gallery – but I had done it in depth last time we were at London (I seem to recall Ant complaining about the Jesus pictures last time), and I was feeling really really tired. The whole 4 hours sleep the night before was starting to catch up with me – so we give the gallery a miss.

I give Jane a call on Ant’s mobile phone which must have cost about 2000 quid or something for a 3 min conversation. We organised to meet each other at London Bridge Station at 6pm.

We find a nearby photo place and attempt (twice) to burn our memory card onto a CD. That place seemed to have chronic problems associated with ripping CDs (which you’d think would be their bread and butter with Digital Cameras these days).

While the photo shop was attempting to burn the CD for the second time – we went to the evilest supermarket on the planet – Tesco Express – for some sandwiches. Tesco has been getting some really bad press lately – they are a bit like the Woolworths of Britain – except they are bigger. But their catch phrase is really Coronation Street-esque – “Every little ‘elps!” (I’ve spelt it the way they say it). Pretty vomit inducing actually.

We head back to the photo place (where our CDs are finally ready) and head down to catch a glimpse of the London Marathon – when we actually got to see the race leaders – just that we didn’t really care about any of it.

We wander up to the end of the marathon (in an attempt to cross the other side of the race) where everything appeared like it was a logistical nightmare – what with runners meeting spots and all of their stuff left at the start. I think the London Marathon was trying to outdo the Styrofoam Mountain at Tokyo’s fish markets – as there were plastic bags everywhere with all of the runners stuff in it.

We head back to Piccadilly Circus where finally – the shops were open and we could have some retail therapy. We spend half an hour looking at Vermin Records and H&MV – and I get a few CDs (including Technotronic – yeah) and Ant gets some DVDs including some dodgy gay german prison movies (prison break – yeah!).

We also find some really cheap shoe and sports store – where I get a sweet pair of Adidas shoes and Ant buys a few bits and bobs of sports gear. I was having “evil-eye warfare” with the security guard because I was sort of loitering around waiting for Ant.

Ant takes me on a “forced nazi death march” to London’s first Abercrombie and Fitch shop. Because I was losing it (in terms of being awake) – I headed back to the hotel for a rest. Meanwhile – Ant discovers that A&F’s cheap American prices were lost in translation in the London version of the shop. Instead of a t-shirt being 30USD (in the States) – it was 30 quid here in London. Yikes.

Ant takes himself on a forced nazi death march to Russell Square – where he checks out the local gay bookshop “GTW” and buys a few books. Apparently – this place is in dire straits – not the band – but in a financial sense. I think a lot of local gays in the village couldn’t be bothered getting out of Soho and going somewhere else (like Russell Square).

We both meet up at 5pm – and head out on the tube to London Bridge. Unfortunately – most of the crowds and runners from the marathon had chosen to catch a train when we needed to. So it made for a bit of a claustrophobic train ride.

When we finally arrive at the London Bridge Tube station – we try and find Lucy and Jane – but to no avail. We were sort of wondering if we were at the right stop (because there are multiple “London Bridge” train stops).

I have a look at Ant’s mobile and realise that Jane had texted me not that much later than 1pm (some 5 hours ago) – saying that we should “catch a cab and meet them at their apartment”. Luckily – Ant had brought his map and it didn’t really look like “cab” distance material – so we walked.

We ended up getting a bit lost – and I made another 2000 quid mobile phone call to Jane again – but we ended up being pretty close to their apartment.

Jane and Lucy came out to collect us and bring them around to Jane and Nick’s apartment. Ant made a 15 min appearance – but had to leave in order to meet Andy back at Sth Kensington by 7:30pm.

Jane and Nick have been living and working in London for the past year or so and are going to be evicted from their nice apartment because their land lord is turning it into a short term apartment. According to Nick – even if they rent it out for 3 months in the year – they will make more $$ than a fully occupied long term lease for a year…. I hate landlords in general.

Lucy and her partner Steve have both quit/gone on leave for 12 months to tour around Europe on a campervan bought from some online website for about 5000 pounds (or was that AUD?). Although I didn’t know at the time – the campervan is a Fiat which is Italian for “Piece of S##t car” or Polski Fiat – which is Italian for “Piece of S##t car built in Poland”.

I had a good night – Jane introduced me to Pimms (supposed to be very English) and we had Mexican for dinner (which is something really hard to buy here apparently). We exchanged notes on places we had been to in Eastern Europe – and I stayed until the nanna time of 10ish because I was told (out of the blue) that the tube shuts at 10ish on a Sunday…

I said my goodbyes – and raced the hell back to the London Bridge Station – getting worried that I’d miss the train – but of course – I made it back OK to Earls Court and crashed for the night.

Meanwhile – Ant met up with Andy OK at Sth Kensington – and was taken to Soho where he consumed copious amounts of beer (what I mean by copious is 7 pints) – and arrived back at the hotel at nanna time of 2ish in the morning.