Japan to Australia via Eastern Europe and stuff - Part 28 - Day 24 – Goodbye Eastern Europe – Hello UK...

We woke up to a bit of CNN and Sky – and I find it amusing that Qatar Air sponsor the weather segments on Sky “Qatar Air – now sponsoring the weather”… How about “Qatar Air – now sponsoring climate change”?!

We also watched a little bit of MTV – where there is a freaky video of a German band who dress up like Priscilla for parts of it, then “300”, then table dance… One of them does a rap in English and says “I wish I was a rapper so I can say F##k You!” – truer words have never been spoken on German MTV. Ant has this favourite German song – some duet between a guy that looks like Johnny Depp in that pirate movie and some girl – and it sounds a bit james bondy or something.

At breakfast – Ant was involved in a bit of a bum fight trying to get some pancakes with Ronnie Corbett’s wife or something.

We pack and check out at reception. There was this “b##ch from hell” tourist guide who was wanting the reception lady to re-photocopy 38 maps of Dubrovnik because the “tone wasn’t right”. Jezzus.

We catch a bus into Old Town and because a new ferry had dropped a sh## load of tourists into Dubrovnik – Ant and I thought that we would give this a miss and just catch a local bus to somewhere we haven’t been before. So we went to the “Old Town Bus Interchange” and caught a number 3 – which goes back into town and past the bus terminal before heading up a hill into the burbs.

Getting those flashing from yesterday of “missing the boat and missing our flight” – we got off at the end of the bus line – in the middle of nowhere. Both getting a bit stressed and wondering how we were going to get out of this situation – I find a path leading down to the bottom of the hill… saved!

Ant who was feeling like some more heart-stopping adventure – decided to take another bus (1B) to another part of town. After a mammoth 20 min bus ride – we not only leave Dubrovnik but appear to enter into a new town or something. When we got on – the bus driver asked Ant “are you show you know where you going?” – Ant replied with “yes!”. We decided to get off the bus at what looked like a set of shops where we could get some lunch.

We go to a local bakery and get another one of those “really big pastry things with cheese” – which are pretty heart attack inducing. It felt a bit more like the burbs or the ghetto out here – youfs hanging around and up to no good… visible signs of shelling in buildings (something which is fairly absent back in downtown Dubrovnik) and stuff. And there are absolutely no tourists…

After starting to get these horrible nightvisions of us missing the bus into the airport and our flight – we both start to get a bit edgy. To make matters worse – we didn’t really know where to catch the bus from… We both see a bus station down on another road and head down to it – only to discover that it buses going to it were headed in the wrong direction. I thought that there was a bus stop back near where we got dropped off so we head back. The bus stops here are a little hard to find sometimes. Mostly – they are just painted bits on the road (with crazy Croatian drivers parked over them). We loitered around for a bit – before a local started to loiter too – so perhaps this was a bus station.

Low and behold 10 mins later – a bus appears – with the same driver as we had coming out here. We had to switch buses back in town and head back to the hotel.

When we get back to the hotel – we ask the woman at the front desk if we could get our bags back. She looks at us a little bit sheepish – and says that there were some women getting changed in the luggage room – and for us to wait for another five minutes… as you do.

After 5 minutes – we just break into the luggage room and some old grannies finishing up after a bit of lezzing it up or something.

We catch one of those mysterious number 7 buses directly to the bus station (we tried to catch one when we arrived – but we didn’t realise where the number 7 bus stop was). So despite getting all in a tizz about missing the bus to the airport – we arrive one hour early before the bus. There were a couple of old croat woman screaming at each other in the station rest area – which helped passed the time.

I get my chance to finally buy a “Macho” Ice Cream from Konzum nextdoor… although it isn’t as macho as a Maxibon.

The bus to the airport was almost completely empty. There were some other Australians (the tightest people in the world) catching the cheap bus – and it was a fairly interesting bus ride to the airport – as you get a great view of Dubrovnik whilst driving on a “goats track” road.

At the airport check-in – we get really great service… So good in fact – the woman gives us access to the business lounge even though Ant is technically not entitled to it (Ant is the oracle of frequent flyer rules and exemptions).

The lounge was a little bizarre at Dubrovnik airport. Instead of being in a separate room – it just had a few partitions around the smallish room to keep the alleged “haves” from the “have nots”. The lounge is what Ant calls a common lounge – eg: all airlines use it. I call it the town bike – everyone’s had a ride.

There were a couple of computer terminals – where I get a chance to do a bit of blogging (so far behind) and Ant internets a bit. There was this really annoying girl from Canberra who kept harping on about the 2003 bushfires (or whenever they were).

Our flight to Gatwick was OK. Although there was this really weird woman sitting next to me who had this strange safari hat and ski boots on. She would leave her safari hat on the seat tray – and if I wanted to get out of my seat – she would then squash her hat in the upright tray… OK? Ant starts reading my book and gets through more than I’ve read over the past two days in 20 mins.

When we landed at Gatwick – the strange woman with the safari hat forgot to take her strange book – but being the good Samaritan that I am – I yelled at her until she picked it up.

Although Heathrow was worse in terms of “divey-ness” – Gatwick wasn’t all that much better. The Gatwick express train station was a little bit like a rock show. The good old ticket machine gave me change for 20 quid – in one pound coins – just what my exploding wallet needs.

We catch the local train instead of the Gatwick Express. The local train costs about half what the Gatwick Express does – and it has three or so extra stops – probably not really worth the premium. We arrive at Victoria Station which was v busy.

Instead of staying out our time-honoured tradition that is the Crestfield in Kings Cross – it was fully booked for one of the nights we were back in London – so we booked two nights instead at the Burns Hotel (a Best Western apparently) at Earls Court – an area that both Ant and I didn’t really know very well.

We got the tube from Victoria Station to Earls Court (bloody hell the tube is busy and curviness of the trains doesn’t do wonders to your spine when you have to stand up).

We quickly find our hotel (which was about 2 mins from the station) and check in with no problems. Although the Burns is 15 pounds more a night than the Crestfield – there is a massive difference in quality. The Crestfield’s rooms are very claustrophobic and the shower /toilet is usually combined. However – the Burns is very big (had a desk, TV, cupboard, separate shower and toilet) probably twice as big as the Crestfield – so the increase in price is very noticeable.

We have some traditional English cuisine for dinner – Indian. It costs about $40AUD and we had 2 beers (although half pints), two mains, rice, naan and pappadams – which seems to be better value than back in Australia. Although Ant nearly had some “arse curry” when they guy sitting next to us almost planted his backside in Ant’s plate when he was getting up and leaving. Choice.

Ant and I then wander around for a bit around Earls Court. There were a few drunks about – a mob who were screaming out the “Chunt” word whilst another couple beating each other up in front of a pub. I find my first “Doctor Who”-esque Police Box outside Earls Court station… Right next to the police box was a “Knife Disposal” box – where some old granny probably came up with the following saying – “Bin the knife! Get a life!”…