People's Democratic Republic of China - Part 3 - Shanghai - Day 2

We woke up somewhat early (and somewhat jetlagged) and caught some chinese TV... Chinese TV is a strange mix of propaganda droll and japanese weirdness... The government runs a number of stations (CCTV or Chinese Central TV) - and I think it goes up to 12 or something... There is an english language version and even our DK guidebook calls it uninspiring... All the news is fairly financial focused and always positive about local government... Every second time you switch it on - there seems to be a never ending series on the Yantzee River (it was up to part 15 last time I tuned in) - I think the production values would have set the Chinese Government back 50 bucks.

We caught an entertaining informercial on bra and a$$ enhancers for chinese girls... According to the infomercial - if you put the bra on - you breasts make a tingling noise and become Pamela Anderson size - and your a$$ sticks out like J-Lo and you get a humped back effect (like Quasimodo)... I'm sure there is going to be a generation of Chinese girls with large breasts, big arses and deformed backs soon...

Tearing ourselves away from the quality TV - we hit the streets for a AUD$2 breakfast (yeah baby yeah) - for $2 we got a bubble pearl drink (and for those not in the know - these are chinese milk tea drinks with these jellies at the bottom called bubble pearls that you suck up and chew) and a couple of crazy asian crossiants and bakery stuff...

We wandered down Nanjing Lu past heaps of old women doing exercising routines. Among them were some old women who looked (and sounded) like they were trying to recreate Flashdance, some who were line-dancing (no joke) and your regular Tai-Chi folks...

The smog from last night - hasn't subsided - in fact it was probably worse... China has a big pollution problem that makes LA look relatively green and fresh... Ant said that living here is like smoking one packet a day - and I could vouch for that...

We wandered down to the "People's Square" (how communistic) - past heaps of beggers (how un-communistic) - where it sort of occured to us that the Chinese have to be the most entreprenrual people on the planet. Most seem to be running a small business or peddling stuff - trying to make paper Maury! So it sort of seems a little weird that they are still a communist country...

We checked out the Convention Centre (which sort of looks like a giant skateboard ramp) and we had to pass our way through a group praticing hard-core extreme Tai-Chi with swords... You may think Tai-Chi is all love and hugs and peace - but it is a deadly martial art. We almost got decaptitated by those sword wielding freeks...

We checked out the Shanghai Gallery (which was right next door to the Skateboard - I mean Convention Centre)... The collection was pretty good - I'm not sure who any of it was made by because it was all in Chinese - and I think we were the only paying customers there... The ratio of staff vs visitors seemed to be close to 100 to 1... Our favourite was a "Communism and the impact on Chinese Art" - it wasn't in english but there were all these crazy Chinenglish slogans scrolled everywhere that were non-sensicial... One of them included "Modern China Society was founded on the 4 isms" - 4 isms - what the hell are the four isms?? Communism, Socialism, Capitalism and Lesbianism...?! There was something else about the "Mutuation of Chinese Culture" - I can't remember the exact words but I posed in front of it looking mutated and got Ant to take a picture.

We then made tracks to the Shanghai Museum - probably China's best cultural museum. It was about 5 floors of ming ceramics, calligraphy, bronze ware, stamps, jade and celadon wares. My highlight was the "7 Cocks" painting (it was a picture of seven roosters you dirty minded peoples!). I even bought a 7 Cock notepad from the giftshop...

We stumbled across the "Raffles City" Shopping Centre - and had lunch at a sort of "hole in the wall" deal - where we both had a thick heavy beef soup... Despite the cheapness of most things in China (eg: 600ml Coke costs less than 50 cents AUD) - the clothes and things for sale at Raffles was pretty pricey (prices pretty similar to Australia - which means expensive)...

Ant wanted to check out a Communist Store that was mentioned in Lonely Planet - so we headed off to the French Consession area of town to find it...

After a moshpit like metro ride to the French Consession - we spent 20 minutes walking to "Madame Mao's Commie Shop" - only to find it had moved and we needed to spend another 20 minutes walking to the new shop... When we got there - we found a lot of real-deal Communist antiques (which were hella expensive)... It costs about $100+ for some Communist Posters (which in Vietnam would have cost $10) - so we gave it a miss... Ant did eye off a Propaganda like shirt but it was slightly damaged and the woman wouldn't haggle on it... She did suggest that we visit another Communist shop nearby - but after walking for soooo long - I wanted to go back to the hotel for a rest....

We caught the subway to the People's Square stop (which is sort of annoying because it is the only junction for two main stops - eg: everyone wants to get on and off here)... and it puts the Big Day Out moshpit to shame... We came to the conclusion that the Chinese are sort of like the Japanese - only with a complete lack of manners... No one seems to have any sense of queuing manners - they'll just push you over to get to that ticket machine first... Anyway - we couldn't handle another subway crush to get on our line - so we just walked from the hotel from there (probably a 20 minute walk)...

Back at the hotel - we totally veged out... We seem to have a knack of watching dodgy Australian movies O/S all the time.. In Peru - we checked out Crocdilio Dundee Dues - and here at China - they were playing "Evil Angels" - with Merryl Streep playing - "A dingo stole my baby" lindy chamberlain.... To top off the strange Australian TV experience - CCTV 10 were showing some documentary on dangerous Australian Snakes...

We wandered around the streets for about an hour trying to find somewhere where we could read the menu (or at least point at a picture)... And goddamn it we don't want McDonalds (it is very defeatous to have it)...

We finally wandered back to Raffles City and had dinner at a Chinese Restaurant... Ant thought he would be smart and order some dumplings for an entre - but it was actually a main meal soup (Wonton Noodles style) - so we had way too much food... The Christmas Carols playing at extreme volume at Raffles City were getting on both our nerves.... The Chinese seem to be bigger Christmas Freaks than Australians.... Our favourite Chinenglish saying of the day is "Christmas... So Sexy!". Yeah - I get rather randy when I think about Santa...!

On the way back to the hotel - we checked out "Shanghai Number1 Department Store" - the ex-Communist store which even gets a write up in our DK guidebook - but it was tragically bad. It was like shopping at a down-market version of Dimmeys.

We crossed the road and attempted to check out the "Sega Players World" to kill some time... Although to our horror - we almost got trapped in that mall... Everything shuts at 10pm on the dot - and despite the hoards of shoppers trying to escape - the security guards shut the doors regardless... I tried to escape through the front door - but I was too late - so I shouted at Ant "let's get out through the basement".... To our horror - the basement door was closing - but in true Indiana Jones style - we raised underneath it before it shut...

We made our way back to the hotel - for some shut eye... There endeth day 2...